I don't know about you,
but I think I lost my rose-colored glasses, or they don't work anymore. Like there's something missing to the whole "create the life you want" thing. And this week, it clicked. The missing piece. You can work to create the life you want. And life can still be hard. People lose their jobs, get sick, pass away. People live through genocide, domestic violence, and child abuse. We live in a racist world. We lock our keys in the car. Forget to pay a bill. Our kids don't get enough sleep. They can't stand what we make for dinner. People are starving on the planet. This is life, people. It's not a Facebook post. It's real life. And it can get real messy. Injustices happen. Oppression is real. You are real. You've got a kaleidoscope of life experiences that makes you, you. So honor you, all of you. For that's the missing piece. To know, and to teach your kids, that part of life is it's messiness. The injustices and the pain. We don't have to weigh them down, with the weight of the world. But "that's not fair" is absolutely correct. And it's how we handle the injustices in life that count, and the process it can take to find your peace. In our children's world, they feel it. They're working with these lessons on a small (and sometimes big) scale everyday. That life isn't always fair. So how can we teach them to honor that? And what are the lessons they can learn from the hard times? What can they do when things in life aren't fair to make it a little more right? How can they find their peace? Big questions. (Remember it's best to do this type of teaching about injustices and fairness when things have returned to a calm "normal." No point in telling a hysterical child who can't find her favorite toy, all that she's learning from this moment, or it's all about her perspective.) The missing piece is life can be hard, and is hard, AND we can still work to create the life we want. This is the life that takes courage. Courage to get through. And courage to try again. The life that doesn't come with rose colored glasses, but is beautiful and amazing nonetheless. What's your view about the hard stuff in life? And how will you model and teach that to your children? You got this, even when it's hard. Have a wonderful week. All the best, Megan p.s. This is the kind of work we do in Parenting for the Next Generation--- work with the hard stuff in life, like temper tantrums and power struggle---- so you & your children come out stronger on the other side! Early bird registration is ending this week. Classes begin October 17th. Join us to unlock your parenting POWER and create a foundation you LOVE! Click here for more info and to register.
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Lately, I've been taking my inspiration from jumping.
Yes, the art of jumping. Jumping as stress release. Jumping as connection with your kids. Jumping's fun. I'm always on the lookout for that double bonus of getting some movement or exercise in and doing something fun with my son and our circle of kid friends. The double bonus. Where multi-tasking becomes magic. Just being. Enjoying and loving life. And the moment. When we get to laugh and play, and strengthen my core too. Jumping has been it lately. We made a couple visits to friends' houses with trampolines. And went to a birthday party at one of those jump places. Jumping til you can't jump no more. Usually for me because I have to pee. (Any other vaginally-birthing mamas with this problem, I highly recommend you go see Tami Kent.) Go pee, then jump a little more. Part of the magic of the jump is... that moment of exhilaration of being off the ground in the air place of freedom of defying gravity somehow beyond the physical plane but all together in it at the same time moments I long for these days magical place between me and my gold between end of summer and beginning of fall between the sky and the ground finding common ground between grown-ups and kids just jump go ahead and jump and this week, if it's not jumping for you find your own place between the heavens and the earth that place of connection with you & your children and go hang out there even if it's just for a second because a second of magic is all you need With love, Megan don't get me wrong
i love pumpkins crisp air red leaves the smell of applesauce & cinnamon cooking on the stove my mom loved fall was her favorite time of year the season has its beauty a regalness an elegance that builds on summer in fall i celebrate her a sunny fall day has the best light for pictures trips to the pumpkin patch i love the earlier nights so my son gets a full 11 hours of sleep boots cozy sweaters yeah, fall is cool but i'm not gonna lie summer is my fav i cry a little inside when we're back to school heat waves are over my glow from within doesn't shine as bright i used the dryer today for the first time today in months first day i wore boots since last spring you can tell who the real oregonians are by birth or by heart those people relieved for rain and gloom not me but i'm happy the plants are happy for rain my love of the sun long days of light heat some of it is my mediterranean constitution some of it is that i've had enough gloom in my life i know what it's like gloom same reason i don't like horror movies i know scary i know evil i don't like to hang out there i don't play around with the depths of humanity fall reminds me of that a mourning of sorts reality check that we can't shine all the time a reminder to go inward to make hearth and home find peace within i imagine i'm not the only person growing up in an abusive home who's still a little scared of the dark who prefers longs days of sunlight being out of the house outdoors in nature free from oppression shining bright in the summer sun fall reminds there is always more peace to be found to make my life my home a cozy place for myself that my sun shines within more like a fireplace now this fall in particular a poignant one racial injustice global oppression breaking free from oppression withing as i push to birth my gold fall like my life the sweetness the depth the integration of the whole the picture of the whole of the seasons of my childhood of racial oppression injustices everywhere all real some too real fall reminds me to honor the depth the sad wisdom from oppression the eternal longing to be free triumph of the human spirit to find peace in the injustice of some children's homes and systemic racism but maybe i got that all wrong there's no peace in injustice only peace in justice the work towards justice freedom for all fall reminds me of my deepest longings freedom for all pumpkin spice too my mom's birthday and that summer will return the next roll of the year justice too for all the world's children i hope I was driving down the road.
Listening to a recording of a "law of attraction" person. I wanted I could chuck it out the window. So much for attraction. My stress levels were through the roof. I was on my way to go deal with a really triggering situation. I was exhausted. When people are experiencing the most pain, this law of attraction stuff can sometimes make matters worse. Life is as hard, as it is beautiful. The struggle is real. It's how we grow. On a good day, I can align with my positive self to attract the best in the world. And yes, I probably could use to do that more often. But on a hard day, when I'm stressed, and dealing with emotions I felt as a kid, I want to chuck Law of Attraction out the window. Why? Because during those really hard times of life, I'm not in an optimal state. The brain is either in: a thriving state or a surviving state. The optimal state of thriving is when we can learn and love, often effortlessly. When we feel good in our skin and trust in ourselves and the world around us. From a brain science perspective, this is "safety." It's when we're connected to our highest selves as people, our place of empathy, problem-solving, and sense of humor. This is an awesome place to live. We can deal with life. We see the best in one another. We feel a sense of being ok from within. Driving down the road that day, I was not in that place. I was in survival mode, in the lower centers of my brain. I was in that fight-flight mode, and I seemed to be going back and forth between the two. Law of Attraction was making it even worse. Because my negativity was real in that moment, and had to be dealt with. I couldn't just "think happy thoughts." So, what did I do? I took some breaths. Felt the sun shinning in through the window. Switched to some hip hop. Shook my head, and then sent some love to all those Law of Attraction people. I honored where I was in this moment. The harshness. The horrible feelings. Rather crazed. The absolute stress, once again. It wasn't all lovey-dovey. But I honored the choice. And opened the door to moving forward through this stressful time. I saw what I was dealing with. Gave it a "let's do this" nod. Even if I was so.sick.of.being.in.this.situation and wondering how.did.this.happen.again? I posed the question, "what would help me most right now?" And I saw it. The hole. This hole. That's keeps me bound. I'm been climbing my way out for a long time. But suddenly, there were gold steps going up the side of the hole. I saw them in my mind. Step by step, I was getting out. And with the gold, I could enjoy each step of the way. Even if it was still crazy stressful. Knowing one day, I'd be out. And until then, there was gold to enjoy. That moment in the car, everything shifted from within. Even if nothing changed on the outside. I could deal. Feel strong. I was ready. I'd given my survival mind the help it needed to get me to my thriving place. So I could deal with life, even if it wasn't perfect. *** We all struggle. Especially those of us with a history of child abuse. You didn't do anything wrong if you're struggling. It's not your fault--- it's not even about that. If you are in survival mode, focusing on being happy may help. Sometimes. Or it may make you feel more angry or sad. Most of us experience our survival mode, and our thriving mode, throughout the course of our lives. If you feel like your survival mode is taking over your day, or your life --- be gentle with yourself. You've been through a lot. Honor your struggle. It's real. Give your nod to it, in your own way. This next part may take time and practice. You may need extra help or support. Align with that part of you that yearns for more. The freedom from struggles overcome. That baby step to move you forward. To the connection to your highest self. Thriving mode. And whatever it may be for you, look for your step of gold. Your bridge of gold to help you get out of the hole, and move forward into the positive. You got this, Megan this is it the end of summer 2016 school starts for us next week even tho i look forward to work days again where i'm not juggling 7 year old playdates and sumer fun with deadlines i'll miss us both being home i'm always sad to see summer go summer has been my fav since i was a kid so this weekend i dedicated to all things slowing down the end of summer magic 2016 and putting the summer magic principles into action to being in the moment loving my son's smile listening with a full heart to his science stories being in awe and amazement of this little guy i love so much to jumping on trampolines visiting family and farmer's markets taking the time to answer all his questions: "which animal is cutest in this picture?" and shopping in the bulk section: licorice sticks! little joyful moments of simple beauty and connection Whether you're already back to school, you home school, you've got preschoolers or babies, or you're back to school this week..... Consciously take time to slow down this weekend, look around, and simply enjoy life around you. Even just a min.... to love your children's smiles, to really listen to what they're saying, to feel the sun and the harvest.... To slow it down, way down and enjoy. This weekend, when you feel life speeding up, pretend like you have a remote control to your life in your pocket. And press Slow down and enjoy Until you feel it. Enjoy your life: it's your harvest. And slowing down to enjoy this weekend is the best way to honor your summer and welcome your fall. You got this. All the best, Megan i went to snap a pic on my phone today 3 photos were there what??? all 1,000 pics that were there this am missing poof gone no copy anywhere by this afternoon this week an old friend from high school a good friend of my good friends passed away poof gone missing just like that unapologetically hilarious & goofy he was known for his bass back in the day you heard him before you saw him he left behind two small children and one on the way why couldn't time stop for him or his little ones so they'd know their daddy now they'll grow up missing this week driving thru the town i called home for 5 years on my way to class missing i was the time i lived there alone with my son spirit of my teachers the peace thru hard times breaking free from my past missing i was that time in my life i'll never get back poof gone a part of me always but missing time past but i'm still here even if i lost my photos loved ones moved away chapters closed my old friend he's gone missing forever from life life fleeting it goes keeps going no matter what until it doesn't the worst thing to miss is right now to let time pass by without enjoying appreciating all that is missing today while we're living it no point in missing today because one day you'll be missing today anyways life it's yours for the living Mid August.
Time to squeeze out the last bit o' summer. And then soak it up. Quick. Back to School's just around the corner. So forget those dishes and get out there in that sunshine! (Join my FB Group here to access many of the Summer Magic 2016 tools to get the most out of your August!) Hope your summer has been full of lots of family magic. Fun in the sun. Fresh fruits & veggies. Swimming. And long days of lovin the light. Now's a good time to take inventory. Good ol' summer inventory. How many days of summer vacation are left? What are 1-3 things you still want to do, or want to do again? Simple things that are most important to you. Picnic on the lawn. Trip to the swimming pool. Star gazing. Concert in the park. Make your list. Then make it happen. Get it on the calendar. Invite some friends. And soak up that Summer Magic 2016 while it's still with us. Summer is my fav.
Always has been, every since I was a kid. It's all about living outdoors, as much as possible. Being one with the earth, and soaking up that sunshine. I do soak up summer, like I'm saving it for a gray January Oregon day. Summer is medicine for my soul. I love spending it with family & friends. I've had some serious summer magic this year. With a couple weeks at the OR coast with family visiting from all. A dance retreat weekend at my friend's farm. So much Portland summer fun with the kids. And this summer has been intense with two (!) moves, deadlines for my program for parents who are child abuse survivors, and significant stress. Life is always about ride the waves, the ups and downs of our existence. But this summer I've become a master surfer. Surfing through life adventures this summer. And through it all, the stress has taught me, how to find the calm within. The peace on the wave. Acceptance Enjoying the moment. Getting back up from a big fall, ready to go at life again. And the wisdom to know when to stop, to let go, take a break, and come at life from a different angle. Eternal summer in my soul. she told me she's taking the rest of summer off from facebook to enjoy summer with her kids hhhmmmmm..... that got me thinking not only how much time i'v spent scrolling but how much i'm not enjoying scrolling lately i'm only doing it when i'm so tired and have no energy for anything else instead of resting or sleeping i'm scrolling so when she said she got off fb (and was able to keep messenger) i got really excited already feeling liberated that my friends was my 1st cue..... the great thing about social media is it connects us with humanity babies growing up and being born weddings anniversaries deaths and sufferings too we are one people social media has the power to connect us all but we control it as soon as it feels like our phones are controlling us the tables have turned and i wonder is it a good thing? is there balance? where's the moderation? and what are we modeling for our children? for me it's a nagging feeling like my phone is always calling me to look just a minute just one more post just just just one of the moms in the power to the parents group i run to kick off the new year in parenting said a child described his mom on the phone like she was frozen frozen on a phone ugh is that part of parenting today? my son made me a little note with me on my phone and a line through it with a big NO! sigh for me facebook starts off as the parenting work i love but it's hard to stop there whether i'm responding to a parent or stuck scrolling saying "one more minute" to my son it gets old for both of us in my coaching work around media i work most often with moms and developing a media plan for them (not their kids) let's face it social media is some strong medicine that can turn addicting quick especially under the demands + isolation of modern motherhood and this august i have some serious deadlines to meet as i'm developing my programming for parents who are child abuse survivors some of the most important work i have to offer the next generation and work that makes me anxious and that i often want to avoid and scrolling is one way i can guarantee i'll get nothing done on the getting to gold project so this month august 2016 i've declared media free for me so i can enjoy the rest of summer with my son to give him - not my phone- my focus to feel free from a little device for 30 days and into the present moment of life around me and meet some big deadlines in my work to transform the intergenerational cycle of child abuse would you like to join me?
to enjoy the rest of summer with your fam to have one month of no "one more minute" to live in the moment of here and now and the world around you -not the world within your phone to connect with the humanity within you just for one month to take a media break to be media free it will be fun + liberating join me! (or modify it for your life of 1 week 1 day or even 1 hour of media free) if you're a part of the parenting for the next generation facebook community i'll be back september 5th just after labor day with renewed inspiration + ideas to support you in unlocking your inner wisdom + power as a parent so you can begin fall 2016 with empowerment + fun see you then + enjoy the rest of summer! with love, megan p.s. i'll be posting weekly blog posts so please visit me here this month! This summer is dedicated to doing it. Whatever "it" is. Maybe its your family vacation that's right around the corner. Or that project. Having your kids home. Or getting outside more. Maybe it's a big challenge. Or you just want to clean out your garage. Whatever it is, the first step to doing anything, is believing in YOU. Believing that you can do it. That it's possible. Whatever "it" is. You can do it.
For real. But you have to do more than take my word for it. You have to believe it too. As I shared in Summer Magic, I'm not saying that all your problems will disappear just by believing in yourself (or maybe they will!). It's that: if you don't believe in yourself, very little else is possible in life. You believing in you is your foundation, for everything and upon which everything else in your life is built. Believing in your children is one of the most effective positive parenting tools. And believing in yourself is even more effective. Because in order to really believe in your children, you must believe in yourself first. Right? So how to cultivate this belief in you? Say it til you believe it. Walk around your house, saying in your head: "I can do it." "I believe in myself." Especially if you have insurmountable obstacles in your world this summer. Especially if you feel hopeless, totally overwhelmed, or depleted. 10 times a day. morning, noon & night. "I can do it." "I believe in myself." And say it again, when those little gremlins of self-doubt start speaking up. Yes, it will feel cheesy at first. But say it still. "I can do it." "I believe in myself." Say it like you mean it. And like you believe it. Then say it some more. Your belief in you is your most effective way to do "it" this summer of 2016. Whatever it may be, have fun with the power of believing in you, this summer + beyond. You can do it, Megan |
Mama Megan
Hi friends, I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative." This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family! Archives
May 2021
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