If you're struggling to stay calm & in your place of power when your children are upset, please remember: most of us are. You're certainly not alone. 80 to 90% of parents today are struggling to deal with our children's high emotions. (I know I certainly am, and I teach this stuff.) This is the some of the most important work we're doing together over @ You Got This. The first and the very best thing you can do AS SOON AS you notice that your child is upset - even if you aren't feeling triggered yet - is to take space from your little person. Why? So you don't get swirled into your children's high emotions. By taking space, you create a boundary so your children can have their emotional experience -- and you don't take it personal or get all reactive. In our community, we provide you with the support + tools so you are neutral, confident, strong in the love, and proactive- not reactive when working with your children's high emotions. Taking space and creating a loving + respectful boundary is the hardest part of working with high emotions in your children. But you can totally teach yourself. And once you learn how to create a positive boundary --- the next steps are easy-peasy. Here's some ideas to help you take space and create a positive boundary with your children. {Remember to use your best judgement and follow your intuition when using any positive parenting tool.} Most parents need step into another room, or open the door/window for fresh air, to create this space between you and your children. You know what is safe for your family, depending on the ages of your children. I try my very best to step into another room right away, if I I'm tired or stressed. And if I don't step into another room, when I'm tired or stressed, it's 99% guaranteed that I'll end up yelling. Taking space is that powerful. If my basic needs are met, and I'm not tired or stressed, I can stay in the same room and use a visualization with my favorite color to help me out. I visualize a gold wall between my son and I. Or I picture myself in a gold bubble. If I feel emotionally centered with the gold boundary, then and only then do I interact with him. This week, practice the first step of Staying Calm 101: By:
* Stepping into another room, * opening a window or door for fresh air, * or using the power of visualization. Or develop a tool to take space that works best for you. Questions? Let me know. I'm here to help empower you emotionally, so you can empower your children. Join the convo this week over @ the Parenting for the Next Generation community to help you work with high emotions in your family. Catch the livestream this week about working high emotions in your children. You Got This. Promise. All the best, Megan p.s. Enrollment is still open over @ You Got This. Because for real: with 24/7 support and access to all the tools you'll ever need, You truly GOT THIS. Founding membership is just $29-- and includes individualized support and coaching to build our database of positive parenting tools. What?! Don't miss out on this opportunity to join as a founding member-- membership will be $99/ month after this first year.
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No doubt this was a big week. Trump's in, mamas. And we probably aren't going to change that. All we can do now - and the most important thing we can ever do- is positively change from within. To keep growing and evolving. In the positive, with community. Whether you march on the streets, or march by living your purpose stronger than ever, Trump calls all of us to be.... stronger + better + more positive in who we are. So we, the mamas are Stronger in the Love than any oppressor's fear or hate. This is my message to Trump, and to people who like oppression: Human life is the most important thing on Earth. We commit to ending oppression of any human life, especially the lives of anyone's children. The very best thing you can do to end oppression in these times? Become even stronger in who you are. To LIVE your LIFE like you LOVE your LIFE. Loving your life is one the most radical things you can do, and the best gift you can ever give your children. In my life this week, even more powerfully than Trump's inauguration {For Love is always more powerful than fear.} is that planet earth lost a great soul this week. One of my teachers, Sobonfu Some, passed away. I studied with Sobonfu just before my son came into being. Sobonfu taught me about... * the power of living your purpose * how sometimes living your purpose is the most challenging thing ever * why your community is so important * because when living your purpose is so hard, your community has your back so YOU CAN DO IT: Live your gifts to make the world a better place. I talk more about what I learned from Sobonfu here,. Watch Sobonfu's key note address at Harvard here. Strong + Loving mamas who are changing the world. But it doesn't mean it's easy. That's why we have our community. So we can grow and evolve together. While we learn the latest + most transformational brain-based tools to help you live your purpose in parenting, and in life-- and change old patterns that no longer serve you. If you want to up your positive parenting practice in 2017 -- please join us @ You Got This. All the positive parenting support you'll ever need, 24/7 --- what you need when you need it. Like a 24 hour fitness for your positive parenting workout. Join the fun to transform challenges + stress in your home, and change the world. Have a wonderful week. Lots of love, Megan We're on day 8 or 9 of snow days this school year in the Portland area. Some of the time at home has been really sweet. happy kids frolicking in the snow sledding, homemade hot cocoa, cooking projects, and games & crafting time sweet + funny moments, like my ninja-chopper son in the kitchen Fun, right? Over the last few days, we had some wonderful times with friends. But life isn't all Facebook glossy. It's real. And I'm a work-from-home, single mama. When my son is home from school with me, I'm either telling him (Or sadly, yelling) "one more minute" all day long. Or letting work go so I can try my best to be present with him. Neither one is ideal, and the work-home balance starts to stress me out. Whether you're nursing a baby with a 3 year old who wants to play. Or figuring out how you're going to get your kids to all their activities this week, homework done, and dinner on the table -- all before bedtime. Or your kids fighting is driving you crazy. Whatever balancing act, you got going on in your life --- I worry for all of us. When the stress becomes too much. The scales tip. The stress takes us over, and hijacks our moments. We yell at our kids -- for behavior they did yesterday that didn't bother us one bit. We feel like bad parents, and the guilt locks us into a negative cycle. Our children's negative behavior intensifies. If a pattern like this continues throughout our children's childhood -- it shapes their character. And as a parent, our lives can become miserable. This makes me wanna cry. I do cry. Because I know it's preventable. We can interrupt negative stress cycles with our kids. One of the best ways to gently, oh so gently, -- but powerfully too -- interrupt this negative cycle of yelling at your kids is to forget about your kids' crazy behavior for even a minute, and bring it back to you. This simple phrase said to yourself, right when you notice your frustration levels rising is magic to transform the urge to yell, and negative cycles with your children. It reminds you that everything really is ok. Helps you stay calm, by giving yourself the support, patience, and presence you need to support your children --- and be present + patient with them. This is just one of the hundreds of tools we're practiced + developed together in our positive parenting community throughout the last 5 years. This year, we're starting something new. So you have access to all the tools + support you'll ever need, everyday. You Got This is peace of mind that everyday you can do the crazy balancing act of parenting --- and love it because you finally have support you need. And this week, when you feel yourself getting stressed, triggered, and wanting to yell --- give yourself the deep love + support you'd offer a dear friend. Say gently, but powerfully to yourself "It's all ok." Because in the big picture, everything is all good. You're doing wonderfully. You Got This. Have a wonderful week, everyone! All the best, Megan My home is still an after-holiday-beautiful mess. How about you? I'm shaking my head a little that "Ahhhhhh... It's the New Year." The Christmas lights, knick knacks, and new toys I love -- are beginning to become a disturbing pile of clutter as I try to declutter the rest of my life, and set my intentions + the energy of how I want to feel in 2017. I want all of us to feel amazing (or even simply good enough!) in our lives this year. There is so much I want to do for families (including my own family & the families I'm blessed to work with.) But my office is a mess. I want to focus on eating for optimal power + nutrition to sustain all I want to do in a day. But yet, I've been living off sugar, carbs and coffee. I want to provide my son with the foundation he needs to thrive, so he doesn't need to redo or undo his childhood when he's a grownup. But I'm struggling with connection + patience. See, my friends. This is it. Human life is 100% imperfect. A friend told me recently: "All of human life is based on a mistake. We evolved because of a genetic mutation. Imperfections are life." And I never thought about it that way before. From an evolutionary, neuroscience perspective -- Perfectionism is truly a fallacy, and human life would literally end if we were all perfect. So we're all off the hook! We can just BE, and not stress out about all that's wrong. Because it's all a part of life. Maybe... you value neat + organized, but your house has clutter. You try to take care of yourself, but some days (weeks/month/ years), you simply don't. You want to speak lovingly + respectfully to your children, but sometimes you yell, threaten, and punish. All of it is a-okay. Because it's you. It's your life. Beautifully imperfect, and designed to help you learn, grow, and evolve into the highest manifestation of you. And to have fun doing it. To enjoy your life, and your family. 2017, I hereby dedicate as The year of the Reasons to Love. What you love allows you to deal with all the... mistakes, imperfections, the things that are hard + wrong, and what you wish weren't so. It's all that You Love about yourself, your family, and your life that is the true essence of your existence. To Kick Off the New Year... Your life may not perfect, but it's not supposed to be. Give Yourself Permission to Be. To Love your Life. And to have a very happy beginning to 2017. All the best to you & your family,
Megan p.s. Going to be honest: I'm a little daunted about the task of parenting my son this year, and putting into daily practice the ways I want to teach + guide him. I know I need to kick off the New Year in my Parenting Power-- and you do too. Register for the free mini-series Power to the Parents 2017 right now. We begin tomorrow, Monday, January 2nd and we need your presence + wisdom with us. Just 10 minutes a day for positive change to set your positive pace for all of 2017. |
Mama Megan
Hi friends, I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative." This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family! Archives
May 2021
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