She said to me
You'll always remember This Time of the …. And she couldn't find The words So we searched Together You'll always remember This Time of the Eclipse As the time I... And I forget Her words Because I didn't want to hear Didn't want to know That this was it Wanting My mom To live Even In this state Forever Because This Was Better Than Nothing “This can't go on forever” She said Not fair Because I wish it could “I want to see the fall” She says Same convo How bout some summer sun, Mom? Then Suddenly She can't walk anymore Nurses say Don't Get Up I tell her As your body Gets weaker Your Spirit Stronger No Avoiding Inevitable Road She's on We're all on So I sit With her Hold her hand Hold ground For her Unconscious Mind Integration of Life Before we cross over Themes of our existence Pass before us Calling To be understood And healed “We all do the best we can” All of us Best we can With what we've got All of us dealt Hard deck “What's the score?” She asked me While talking to my sister On the phone yesterday Her wittiness Sense of humor With her Always What's the score? In other words What happened today That I felt so alone And abandoned In that one moment With a house full of people And yet That happens Every day Not just When we are dying So we reassure her We are all here for her Doing our very best We are all here for her Each of us Doing our best Offering what each of us Has to give What I can say About my mom? Some days House full of visitors She is truly Loved By many A good friend Is she She taught me Love your friends For they are Big part Of our world And I do Love my friends Family We chose For ourselves What else? A free spirit With an intellectual mind That Grandma Mary Her children And grandchildren That's our gift too From her We may Strive For the balance Of that And yet We all strive For balance Of our gifts Of who we are She told me You'll Always Remember This …..Eclipse.... As The Time I.... And I will Always Remember This Eclipse Of Spring 2014 As The Time My Mom Eclipsed Us For death Is real Only for Those Left Behind
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Just a couple days ago
Feeling numb Lost Empty Aimless Apathetic Not sure Which way to go Sitting On the road In the rain What’s the focus? My mom? The children? Work? Dinner? My own peace of mind? All need attention None are getting exactly What they need My highest place Connected before But now Where did it go? Lost in the swamp Now I almost miss Feeling numb Wishing pain Wasn’t so painful Hurts so bad Tonight I laid Next to my mom With her hand On my head I cried And cried Like a little girl With a broken heart I could’ve stayed Like that All night Crying Next to my mama I see where this is going My mother’s time My sister And her children Leaving Going home Somehow I thought We would stay All together Again Til the end I need them My siblings Together Strong Taking turns Being weak We had those times Not long enough All together Me My sis Four kids In one little room Snug & Sweet Cozy As could be Comfort In the closeness Of us Wishing Time Could last forever Stand still Under one roof In our mother’s house Now It’s no longer Time is done They are back Portland Home My mom Here But they’re gone Piece of me Gone forever It’s done Can’t turn back Time Heart broken Longing for more Of the one thing We don’t have Time Together Been away A long time Living life Not here But there I know It had to be It was good But now What if’s Of the life I didn’t lead Here Those pieces Of me I would’ve known Maybe Maybe not Or maybe Now’s the time To get them back One week ago I drove Home To my mom’s house Left turn To her house I turn right To my old homes Apartments that grew me I went to say hello To get back Those pieces of me I left there Ages 5 to 13 I pull up In front Of that house Turn off the car I listen To the house It tells me You’re done With the pain These walls Held You know that well Now take the rest Pieces of you You left here Your gifts Poetry Dancing Theater Take those pieces of you And the joy Goodness of life Go They are with you Now And I go I take them back Pieces of me Always been there Buried Now Just remembering To use them Enjoy them Practicing Living my dreams Letting go of the rest And I drive To the next house On the street Full of children Where my best friend & I met When we were three I went first Past her old house Send some pieces of her Back Home to her Then I pull up Park in front That house 3 to 5 years Wait For the pieces Of me To return Feeling confused Because This house Is empty Then I remember Last September In NY I got her back That girl With the long hair Who loved purple That girl Who became a grown-up In that house Little old lady girl Heart of human existence She felt at home there Got her strength She knew people’s pain Universal Humanity’s common bond I got her back Last September Her sparkle too I set her free To come back to me Sometimes She says She doesn’t know how to fly Maybe that’s true Maybe that’s not her thing Pain isn’t light like feathers And she is of a different place Learning how to be with her She is teaching me of her ways That go deep Roots of ancient trees Where darkness dwells Where life springs forth That little girl How I am to be her As a grown woman Not quite sure Yet Takes time Learning Bringing Old pieces Of me Back Where they belong I wobble Like a baby Learning How to walk I write I dance Strong & true What else can I do? Welcome them back Bitter Sweet My mom’s gift And her legacy too |
Mama Megan
Hi friends, I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative." This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family! Archives
May 2021
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