It's all about presence.If I had to sum up a decade of parent - and nearly a decade of supporting parents and teachers - with one word it would be: PRESENCE. * How can we get you, all of you - your strengths, gifts, wisdom, and inner knowing (as well as your challenges, stress and pain honored, integrated and not hijacking your moment!) fully HERE in this moment of your life .... so you can access ALL OF YOU to LOVE YOUR LIFE and master your moments with GRACE and JOY? * How can we get you access to the support and tools you need to manage your stress, and transform and release it when possible - so your brain feels safe, so you can bring all of YOU to this moment. Because presence is EVERYTHING. When you are fully here, you are brilliant and naturally an AMAZING parent. There's no problem with you (or your children for that matter!) The problem is the stress of life and the stress of changing 600+ years of fear-based parenting that has robbed us all our ABILITY to BE PRESENT. Over the last decade, this is exactly what we've been doing together: Unlocking all the wisdom within you, so you can be more fully here and PRESENT in your life. Because when you're present, magic happens. This holiday season, I'll actually be hopping on the Black Friday bandwagon to help you give your family the absolute best gift on earth: your presence! Stay tuned for all the details, I'm wrapping up for you now! And until then, think about: 1) when do you feel most PRESENT in your life and 2) what are the top obstacles to you being fully PRESENT in your life, in this very moment? I'll see you again on Friday, and happy holiday week of gratitude! You Got This presence is the best present on earth.
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Solution - Focused"Most consequences are poorly disguised punishments." ~ Positive Discipline No judgement of any of us (myself included!) but I would have to agree. In Positive Discipline, we switch the focus from consequences to solutions. Because there's no need to "burn to learn." Learning does NOT have to be painful. Learning can be fun, exciting, loving and respectful! As you work with your children - to shift from consequences to solutions and teaching life skills - you're developing the next generation of world leaders and problems solvers, while modeling democracy in your home or classroom. It's SO exciting, this solutions stuff! Punishments are so 1990's. Consequences are so 2000's. Solutions are so 2020. :) Solutions are the work of parenting TODAY and into the FUTURE. And PROBLEM SOLVING is the pathway to solutions in your family. Problem Solving 101STEP #1: Problem Solve in a Calm + Connected Moment.Problem Solving does NOT happen in the moment the problem is happening. Why? Because you or your children (or both!) are stressed and/or triggered. The MAGIC happens when you circle back around to the problem in a calm connected moment later that day, the next day, or even the next week. STEP #2: Be Neutral and Use Noticing.This might be the hardest part. Get into a 100% judgement free place where there is no right or wrong. Maybe you messed up? Maybe your kids did? Maybe you feel like there is NO solution and NO common ground? Well, instead of all that.... Everything.... Just..... IS. When you empty out of judgement and/or control, you enter into this MOST amazing zone. It's called possibility. Get into a neutral - no good, no bad - just is and judgement free place. Think bird's eye view and seeing the big picture. Or pretend it's not you in the situation, but a friend. We talked about this last week in just wondering and getting curious. Do what you can to neutralize any negative response to the problem, and BE NEUTRAL - or at least give it your best shot. :) (Stay in your open-minded, judgement free, everything is possible place of existence.) STEP #3: Brainstorm all Possible Solutions.Stay in your open-minded, judgement free, everything is possible place. Sit down with your children and write down every.single.solution to the problem you and your kids can think of. Let yourself go from any right or wrong here. Your kids say something outlandish? Write it down. Someone says a punishment, not a solution? Write it down. ANYTHING GOES. This is simply the idea generating stage. The more ideas, the better. Don't pass any commentary on the generated ideas or evaluating whether they would work or not. Write every idea down until your family is fresh out of ideas. (Stay in your open-minded, judgement free, everything is possible place of existence.) STEP #4: Find the Mutually Agreeable Solution.Parents usually think it won't be possible to find a solution both you and your children agree upon. And it's usually easier than you think! When children aren't judged or shut down, they can connect with the inherent wisdom within themselves. And often they come up with better ideas than us grown-ups! To engage this positive and collaborative decision-making, use questions and languages like: "What do you think is the best idea here?" "Do you think that would really work? Be honest and let me know..." "That's a great kid idea. But, what would happen when..." "How about if we try a little of this and some of that?" This is your time to model how to have a real-live discussion and problem solving conversation. Show up for your kids like you're at a team meeting for work. Model supporting one another, deep listening, and trusting you're both on the same page. Find your mutually-agreeable solution. Write out what your family decided upon as your solution to this problem. (And for some reason, if it's not happening - take a break and let your family "team" know that you came up with some wonderful ideas. You can always come back to the agreement at a later time. But do, stay in your open-minded, judgement free, everything is possible place of existence.) STEP #5: Practice your Plan as a Fun Game.Take your mutually-agreeable solution and practice it as a fun game. The brain doesn't know the difference between practice and the real thing, so solidify your solution and create those positive neural pathways by acting out the solution regularly as a fun game and then prepping for success with lots of reminders about your solution. I hope you enjoyed this Problem Solving Model breakdown. Hit reply with any questions. I literally use bits and pieces from this model every.single.day as a mom and teacher. Solutions are so 2020 as we build our next generation of world leaders! You Got This Solutions and Problem Solving.Just Wondering"Life is 10 % what happens and 90% how we react to it." ~ Charles Swindoll Sounds great, right? But it's not that easy. Because really hard things do happen to us in life. Life isn't always fair. Yet, this is the life we have been given to make the most of. Sad truth is most of us were taught to respond negatively to life's challenges. Since we can't ever fully stop or prevent life's challenges, mistakes and mess ups - all we can do is learn how to extract the positive from the negative. How can we transform the cycles of: * blame and shame * self-judgement and self-criticism * feeling depressed and/or anxious that we were taught as children in response to life's hardships? Of course, no one tool can solve all of life's problems. But, Simply Wondering is a great place to start. Simply Wondering: * neutralizes negativity and cycles of blame and shame * allows you to get out of the box of "good" or "bad" judgement * gifts you with access to natural curiosity * preserves a positive relationship with yourself and others * situates you in the optimal state for learning and growth How to use simply wondering? It's simple. Step #1: Get into a neutral - no good, no bad - just is and judgement free place. Think bird's eye view and seeing the big picture. Or pretend it's not you in the situation, but a friend. Do what you can to neutralize any negative response to the challenge. Step #2: Get curious about the situation. What are the root causes and the underlying factors? Is there a little shift that could make a big difference? Are there unmet basic needs? "I wonder what's really going on here?" "I wonder what's at the root of this problem?" "I wonder what everyone truly needs in this situation?" Play family or classroom detective and get curious. Step #3 Open to new possibility. Now use your curiosity to start creating some new beginnings, pathways, or solutions to the old problem. "I wonder if we could try...." "I wonder what's the biggest small change we could make?" "I wonder what would help most?" "I wonder if I could ask the child what they need?" Get curious about how can you create beautiful and unexpected positive change. See where your wondering takes you this week. p.s. Oh my goodness! What happened to the holiday season starts the day after Thanksgiving? Now the Winter Holidays begin the day after Halloween. It's crazy. Every year, I celebrate the season of peace on earth & goodwill to all with Holiday Magic ~ not madness! It's a little early for me, but the doors to your Holiday Magic will be opening soon. Stay tuned for all the details by getting on the Holiday Magic 2019 waitlist. See you soon to stress less and have more simple FUN + MAGIC this season. Holiday MAGIC - not madness 2019! Stress way less, and have more FUN + MAGIC this season - and into the New Year. Click the photo above to join the waitlist to be the first to know when Holiday Magic doors open!
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Mama Megan
Hi friends, I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative." This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family! Archives
May 2021
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