AcceptanceA shift happens when someone stops chemo and begins Hospice. Another surrender. To cancer. To life. Acceptance at its strongest. For all of us.
I spoke with a nurse from the Cancer Center on the phone this week. She was kind & wise, caring & sincere. Called me "honey." She thinks my mom taught her grandson. The hospital social worker was my sister's elementary school friend, and my mom's 3rd grade student. Sacred Heart family. Comforting to my mom and a humble honoring to her 25 years of service to Catholic education. My mom was considering palliative radiation for her pain. She thought the doctor said 3 to 5 treatments. He actually meant 3 to 5 weeks of 15 treatments. This was a big disappointment to my mom. In the back of her mind she thought the radiation would help with her cancer. The kind & wise nurse said to me: “The radiation will not help your mom’s prognosis. It will not change the big picture. It may or may not help with the pain. And there will be a lot of side effects.” Period. Finally, someone speaking the truth so my mom can make this next decision. The nurse put me on hold to go talk to the doctor. He said Hospice was an “appropriate” decision. Her cancer is advanced in the bones & body. My mom has been at peace and accepting since the beginning. Even now. Peace & love sprinkled amidst the pain & suffering. Pain & suffering amidst the peace & love. Depends on the day. Her life hasn’t ever been easy. Sometimes I want more from her. Ultimately, I am proud of her. Her spirit is strong. She will be fine. She’s going home. Sooner rather than later. She’ll have peace. And until then, we all do our best. I hope & pray Hospice can do what they do: keep her comfortable and out of pain. That we can enjoy the time we have with her. The time together as a family. Acceptance. Of it all. No one said it was easy. None of it. All I can do is pray I am strong for her. And for me. Because I can’t change any of it. Just do what is best. A surrender for me as well. Her spirit is strong. We find the peace where we can. Moment to moment.
10 Comments
Chris Mazzatti
3/16/2014 03:18:07 am
My heart goes out to you and your mother. Your beautiful spirit among such pain is a tribute to your mother's upbringing of you. May you treasure these days and rely on the comfort of family and friends in this trying time.
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Mama Megan
3/18/2014 11:04:29 am
Thanks, Chris. Very sweet.
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mary kate rinko
3/16/2014 03:27:44 am
Wow Megan!! this is beautiful!!! Again a loving tribute to that amazing human who's your Mom and my friend. I so admire her casual acceptance of what's ahead of her. We've been part of each others lives for - OMG - a lot of years!!! Most of them filled with LAUGHTER!! Sacred Heart, Summer Program, St. Peter's, Lourdes!!! I am nothing but grateful for the years and the memories and these days of sacred time. Thanks, honey! You're a winner!
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Mama Megan
3/18/2014 11:05:21 am
She is one strong lady that mom of mine. I am grateful for you & all the fun we had together + all the joy you & my mom share.
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Susy Quayle
3/16/2014 07:15:33 am
Once again your beautiful words comfort me and bring me tears. I've known you since the day you were born. I've watched you laugh and cry, struggle and try to make sense of it all. Always trying to remain optimistic.
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Mama Megan
3/18/2014 11:06:10 am
Inspiration from my Inspiration. Love you, Susy Q!
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Mary Lou sprague
3/16/2014 09:31:24 am
Hospice is a wonderful organization, they were with my husband throughout his cancer and we was not in any pain even at the end. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you. Keep your strength up, eat and try and sleep, you will be needed toward the final stages. god Bless. One other thing we were Sacred Heart parish ers also and our grand daughter had Mrs Rinko. Miss our old church and family
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Mama Megan
3/18/2014 11:07:05 am
I miss Sacred Heart too. Thanks for your kind & supportive words. All the best!
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Linda Polizzi
3/16/2014 10:57:16 pm
Megan Your message was beautifully written. I continue to pray for your mom . Although we havent seen each other much in the last few years, our friendship goes back to our early school years.(and oh the fun during high school!!!!) If ever I think of some of our "antics" I smile immediately!! I pray for peace and comfort for your mom. Love her dearly.
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Mama Megan
3/18/2014 11:09:26 am
Thanks, Linda for you prayers & friendship over the years. I was just looking at the UCA Class of '68 memory book with Melanie. :) My mom cherishes the fun & memories with you. xoxo
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Mama Megan
Hi friends, I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative." This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family! Archives
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