the goal in positive discipline is to make your life easier + more enjoyable so you love the marathon of your life + parenting while also teaching valuable life skills to your children in parenting + in life it's easy for the negative to hijack the positive misbehavior stress + challenges can easily take over like in this negative cycle of saying no to your children -> power struggles ensuing -> then giving in + saying yes this is definitely not a "feel good" cycle and it's one of the most common negative cycles in parenting most of us can relate to here's some tips to transform this cycle so when your children make requests you feel like the calm + confident leader in your family or classroom you are here to be 1. Press pause and breathe very often our children have a sense of urgency in their requests - which can make us feel pressured to respond immediately - in reality there usually is no rush so 3 deep breathes helps everyone slow down so you can think proactively 2. Affirm what your child says this is one of my favorite tools to help children feel heard and to "buy us more time" to formulate our decision Example: "I hear that you really want _____. " (the toy, screen time, dessert, etc.) 3. Get clear on your answer: Once you've slowed down the moment and affirmed your children, it's time to decide if the answer is: yes, no, or maybe -> If your answer is yes: that's usually the easiest although it may be helpful to set the parameters... "Ok that sounds good and remember to...." "Sure, that's fine and in ___ minutes it will be time to ___." -> if your answer is "no:" this is one of my favorite tools "i love you and the answer is no" if your answer is no, it can be helpful to let your children know in a kind way: "my answer is the same no matter how much you ask" also letting your children know that it's ok to be disappointed is an essential life lesson in positive discipline we talk about building children's "disappointment muscles" giving your children permission to be upset/ cry/ feel sad or disappointed is very empowering "it's ok to feel upset/sad or disappointed" (but be good to yourself and don't practice this tool of developing disappointment muscles in your children when you are tired, hungry or stressed) -> if your answer is maybe: this is usually the hardest scenario and the one that takes quick thinking some questions to help your decision-making: * is saying yes/no going to hurt anyone? * is saying yes/no going to make my life easier/harder in the longer run? * is saying yes/no teaching something negative? * is there any real reason to say no? i hope you enjoyed these tips to transform the "no" -> power struggle -> "yes" cycle in parenting so you feel like the calm + confident leader in your family you're here to be whether it's individualized support to bring this tool alive in your home or extra support with a current parenting challenge every parent deserves individualized support to give back to our community for a limited time only i'm offering complementary 20 minute coaching sessions Have a wonderful week!
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Mama Megan
Hi friends, I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative." This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family! Archives
May 2021
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