All of us have wondered, at one time or another, "Is this normal?" about our children's behavior. I want to help ease your mind, so you can ease up on your kids. Even tho parenting is wayyyy hard --- you're here to ENJOY your kids and help them LEARN, which includes helping them to reach all their developmental milestones. So they can grow into happy + healthy adults --- and in the process, you can give yourself what may have been missing from your own childhood. This is the POWER of parenting, and why parenting is the most healing thing in the whole wide world. If you're wondering, "Is this normal?" about your child's behavior, the vast majority of the time, children's challenging behavior BEGINS as normal developmental exploration so they can LEARN. But, here's the serious part.
If you respond with anger or high frustration to your child's developmentally appropriate behavior you can TURN the developmentally appropriate behavior into misbehavior. And very sadly, The #1 reason children are punished is for developmentally appropriate behavior. And, even scarier: parents not understanding what is developmentally appropriate behavior is one of the leading causes of child abuse. In other words, our children are acting in ways determined by their very biology to explore their world and learn life skills. AND THEN THEY ARE PUNISHED. It's like punishing our children for breathing or having a heartbeat. EXCEPT, that this developmentally- appropriate behavior is WAY annoying, may drive us crazy, and trigger the ways we were punished for the same behavior as kids. Please, please, please know that children can do the most annoying, infuriating things from an adult perspective. I get it! And I also get that most of us adults don't get kids the way we're supposed to. It is NOT a character fault if you don't get your children's behavior. It simply means: 1) You don't have a background in child development, which most parents don't unless you work in education, social work, etc. OR 2) The parenting village is lost, and lacking peer support and elders you trust, you literally don't know what's normal or how to handle developmentally-appropriate "mis"behavior. OR 3) Your parents didn't know how to support your developmental behaviors, growth, & milestones, or they were too stressed out to support you --- which is a whole lot of us. OR 4) You're way stressed out, and your patience and empathy are shot-- which is also of whole lot of us. If you identify with 1), 2), 3), or 4) above {or all 4}, feel totally perplexed with your children's behavior, find yourself getting punitive, or punishing, and then feel bad about it ---here's what you can do. * Talk to other parents you trust and respect, with children the same age. I remember when my son was 4 and I was like, "This is crazy. He's so hyper, he's like a puppy." Then we got together with our friends with other 4 year old boys--- and I realized,"Oh phew, they ARE like puppies at this age- at least part of the day." I can't stress enough the POWER of your PARENTING COMMUNITY to act as a barometer of what's "normal" and what may not be. * If you don't have a parenting community you love, find one in the virtual world. Hop into my positive parenting community, join this one, or do a quick search of one you connect with. * Learn about each developmental stage of life skills your children are working on mastering. Each age comes with developmentally-appropriate exploration that can look like misbehavior. It's normal behavior, and also can be really annoying. Here's some articles about developmentally appropriate behavior, so you know what's normal. Punishing kids for being kids--- is the #1 way to CREATE misbehavior as a parent. * Check out the developmentally-appropriate behavior by age in this article, which provides a good basic over-view. * This article is for 5 years and younger, including how to manage your expectations by age. * A Positive Discipline perspective on misbehavior for preschoolers, but can be applied to all ages. * Aha! Parenting has the best database of articles by children's ages and stages. Check out these articles, and stay tuned for my next post answering the question: "I know this is normal behavior, but what the heck do I DO?" I know you love your children, and you want to do the best you can by them. Please, please, please educate yourself and get the support you need --- so you can feel more relaxed + confident as a parent, and enjoy those sweet children of yours. You deserve it, so do your children --- and the future of humanity depends upon it. Let me know if you have questions, are worried about your children's behavior, or simply don't know what to do. We're here to support and uplift one another. You got this. All the best, Megan p.s. My goal is to give you the parenting foundation you need to raise children who thrive NOW. The time and financial resources you invest TODAY will save your family thousands in future therapy. Please check out my online program beginning next week. Don't go on any longer without the support you need. Early bird reg is extended through this Wednesday. Access the community and tools you need to transform the developmentally appropriate "mis"behavior that is driving you crazy, and have more CONNECTION + COOPERATION in your home. Click here for more info + to register.
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Mama Megan
Hi friends, I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative." This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family! Archives
May 2021
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