In the Parenting for the Next Generation community, I half-jokingly tell parents, everything you're doing today is in preparation for a smooth teen years. Today, you are building a solid foundation of trust + mutual respect. Today, you are developing your children's inner compass. Positive communication (being able to talk and listen to one another) is the rock of your foundation and relationship with your children. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk is your ticket, and one of my favorite parenting books. You want your children to feel like they can tell you *anything.* Which means... today begin to work towards responding without judgement, criticism, or fixing. It's not easy! Start building trust with the little stuff, so if something serious is going on in your children's lives, they know they'll be able to trust you. Say your child has said ______, and you'd usually jump into fixing, wishing it weren't so, or irritation. Some examples might include: "I hate school." or "No school," for a little one. "She is mean!" (about a friend) or "No sharing!" Or any other uncomfortable statement that comes out of your children's mouths that deep down you wish they weren't saying! What do you do? What do you say? Step 1: Try simply saying back, (deep breaths before speaking are always a good idea!) any of these simple responses: Step 2: Add in: "Tell me more." Be sure to speak in a neutral, compassionate way --with more deep breaths! The goal of: Uh-huh... Yes... I see... and Tell me more? For your children to: * Fully empty out & express themselves. and * Feel like, "my parent gets me." After your children are done talking, and you've been fully listening, add in the next step. Step 3: Simply state back what you heard.... "You don't like school because you want to be outside." "You feel like your friend is mean because she tells you what to do." "You don't want to share because you love to play with that toy." To summarize this tool: 1) Deep breaths with "Uh-huh..." "Yes..." "I see..." 2) Then, "Tell me more..." 3) Reflect back what you hear. Bingo. Your children feel like, "my parent understands me!" From this place of understanding, you can effectively move into problem-solving or making a plan. Ready to give it a try? Or maybe this tool is a reminder of what you're already doing? Remember: So please be gentle with you. Be your own coach and inner advocate, so you can do the same for your children. We're here to support one another! And stay active in our positive parenting practice. Which is exactly why I offer: The Parenting for the Next Generation Online Class + Community. The next session begins April 2nd! Click here to get on the wait list & receive special program offers. Enrollment opens March 21st. This week, wishing you the power of positive communication with your children ---and all the support in the world so you can live the power of YOU. You got this, Megan Ready to Unlock Your Parenting Power? Join the Parenting for the Next Generation Online Class + Community. Enrollment opens March 21st. For more info and to join the wait list, click here.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Mama Megan
Hi friends, I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative." This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family! Archives
May 2021
|